... a mother, writing about adventures in assisting and advocating for her young adult son who has special needs,
invites you to come along for the ride.




Monday, September 14

Monday Musings...

Mondays are often dreaded - but I usually enjoy them. I tell people that I like Mondays since they signal a new beginning. New beginnings are great motivators! Starting the day with a clean slate and increased energy (created by resting on the day before!) can lead to a wonderful and exciting day.

We sure had some excitement today! Our son David had a FLURRY of break-through seizures this morning while he was attending UCP-Birmingham's LINCPoint day hab program. This led to a trip to the ER, as his seizures continued one after the other. His break-through seizures occurred in the process of our neurologist's attempts to manage his many seizure medications.

People who have seizure disorders or epilepsy depend upon medications to increase the threshold at which their seizures occur. Everyone's threshold is different, and everyone's seizure disorder is different. Most neurologists aim to: achieve the least number of seizures ... using the least amount of medicine ...with the least amount of side effects, including loss of alertness or sedation.

This is the direction our neurologist was going when we were told to reduce a drug that turned out to be a necessity for our son. Balancing seizure medications is a very complicated task, especially when you factor in that every person's chemical makeup is different, and their reactions to changes in medications vary so drastically. The tenacity with which our son's personal seizure disorder "sticks in there" also makes the balancing of the goals of fewer seizures, least amount of drugs and side effects VERY difficult. It has always been this way for him, ever since the onset of seizures at 7.5 months of age.

David's seizures today were complex-partial, which is the typical presentation of seizures for him... one part of his body jerks rhythmically while he loses most of his consciousness. It's not pretty. Over the years he has had multiple types of seizures, and has had more seizures than we cared to keep a count of since they topped 3500 back in 1990. They occur MUCH less frequently nowadays, ever since the FDA gave approval in the early 90's for more drug studies in children with epilepsy. Without those "new" drugs, many of which included our son David in their drug studies, David's life would be an entirely different picture. We are SO THANKFUL that the pharmaceutical companies were given opportunity to prove that there were drugs that could help children with seizure disorders. And those same drugs were first made available to the adult population - one which David has now joined.

Life with a child with an intractable(uncontrollable) seizure disorder is never boring, but of course has its ups and downs. Today was definitely not boring... yet our son made it through the overwhelming challenges yet again. He is recovering. What a trooper!

Throughout his life, our son's experiences have pointed out the ways in which the rest of us are really the disabled ones. How many of us could constantly get up and face everyday peacefully and even cheerfully if we had these seizures to deal with? How many of us (who consider ourselves normal) could remain as calm toward those who make remarks or judgment calls toward us because of our differences? How many of us... the questions go on and on endlessly in my head. Whose accomplishments are the greatest - those of a person with much physical strength and mental power... or those with very much less? Can we really view ourselves as better because we can achieve more or "bigger" things... when persons with special needs put forth so very much energy in just achieving the taking of a breath, or the whisper of a word, or the completion of another difficult task. Are any us, deemed to be "normal", proving ourselves to be anything MORE than ... lazy, irresponsible, or ... disabled ?? I think we have a LOT to learn from those we label as disabled.

So today marks another chance for a new beginning. Let's begin today as one who is responsible, as one who is not lazy, as one who makes the most of every opportunity.



"From everyone who has been given much,
much will be required."


...

Sunday, September 13

Sunday... Resting and Reading...

Sundays at our house are for resting. We pare down our schedules, and cut out the work load and to-do lists. Not even our son with special needs requires a reminder. It's just what we do.

Attending church, napping, reading and quiet times together... these make up our Sundays.

Even in a restful day it is important to focus on one thing at a time. And today's one important thing is God's word to us, the Bible.



"Your word is a lamp that gives light wherever I walk. "

Psalm 119:105 (CEV)

Saturday, September 12

Thankful List, on Saturday...

Life was hectic this week at our house... and I almost forgot to post my weekly Thankful List. Can't get away with that!!!!

So, in addition to the major grattitudes I've posted before... THIS WEEK, I'm so thankful for...
  • doctors for David and the ability to be SEEN by them when we need to
  • a husband with whom to share life's ups and downs
  • sons... And wives for our sons!
  • the amazing JOY in having grandchildren!
  • options in life, and choices to make
  • the overwhelming truth that... Jesus loved me enough to die on the cross, covering my sins with His righteousness! Truly there aren't any words to fully describe that!


"Beyond all these things put on love,
which is the perfect bond of unity.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,
to which indeed you were called in one body;
and be thankful."

...

Monday, August 31

Monday Musings...

You know how sometimes you get something stuck in your mind and it keeps going round and round... like the lyrics of a song, or the tune itself, or... the last rude thing someone said to you, or vice-versa? Well, this past week I've had a thought that keeps reappearing in my mind, and have finally decided to just deal with it. Sometimes the best way to handle a nagging thought is to just deal with it.

There's a saying from some in my collection of family and friends that goes like this,
"Be where you're at".
I've also heard this thought stated another way,
"Where ever you are, be there".


This thought has been relentless, lately... popping up at various times and in various situations. I have to admit that thinking about it leads me to the desire to make everything in every moment COUNT.

To BE WITH whom I'm with... to LISTEN to the person speaking... to LOOK at who is looking at me... to ENCOURAGE the one who came to me for encouragement... to APPLAUD the one who came deserving recognition or attention... to BE INVOLVED where I am at the moment... to PARTICIPATE in my surroundings. Sounds like a given, but it can be so easy to fall into the rut of "getting things done".

I'm now inclined to reserve the actions of THINKING (as in studying), READING, RECORDING MY THOUGHTS, PLANNING, and ANALYZING things... for those times when I'm alone in the place I have designed for doing these things.

I want to invest my time in the lives of other people when the opportunities arise. Instead of being or appearing preoccupied in the presence of others, I want to BE WITH those I'm with. I want to interact with them, and to encourage them, and to invest in their lives, and to enjoy communication with them.

I want to FOCUS on making an impact, investing my time, right where I am and with whom I am... particularly, and especially, when I want to be somewhere else. Did I just admit that I don't always want to be "where I am"? I think so! And I don't think I'm alone in this either.

A friend of mine brought up the subject today in reference to the fact that, as parents of children with special needs, we have the opportunities to go places and be with people that we never would have been able to go and to be - were it not for our children and their activities relating to their special needs. She's right. We, and our children, are given the opportunities to communicate with and to relate to people whom we (or our children) would never have had the opportunity to meet, otherwise. Rather than chance meetings, interruptions, or hurdles - these opportunities are found to be "divine appointments", indications that God is able and willing to use us in the lives of others.

"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.
Always be prepared to give an answer
to everyone who asks you to give the reason
for the hope that you have.
But do this with gentleness and respect,"



Anyway...I think there is a lot of good counsel in the statement that popped in and out of my thoughts for days. Though it's not exactly good grammar, it's definitely a statement worth reflection.


"BE where you're at!"



...

Sunday, August 30

Restfulness is not laziness...

Sometimes in today's world, we walk a fine line... or think we may. We say we know of the value of a day of rest, but we fear that we are teetering towards laziness if we take more than a few hours "off". Most parents find there is no time to spare or waste, and we as parents of children and adults with special needs find it particularly true. Our experience is that the world has been rewarding hard work and focus while penalizing laziness (or sloth) for a very long time. We may fear that our restfulness is to be treated as slothfulness, and find ourselves juggling responsible work with the need of rest.

I ran across this from Dr. James D. Hegedus, and find it helps put things into perspective...

"Sloth is not restfulness…There is a difference between laziness and restfulness. In the world in which we live restfulness or what the Bible calls “sabbath” is a very healthy necessity. Sloth is not lingering long over lunch with a friend, or strolling aimlessly through the woods with the person we love, or spending a day doing nothing because the demands of your job are about to do you in, or moving through a weekend without the fret of hurry, purpose, or chore, or spending an hour watching a sunset or listening to the sounds of nature, or spending whatever time alone in silence to quiet your spirit and get back in tune with God."

So let's try to remember...
Sloth is laziness...
restfulness is not.


My prayer today is that you find time to spend in rest and silence... to quiet your spirit and get back in tune with God.



"For he that is entered into his rest,
he also hath ceased
from his own works,
as God [did] from
his."
...

Friday, August 21

Friday Free Time

It's Friday. I normally schedule myself some free time on Fridays just because I'm not actually free on the weekends. All moms with children can relate, and those with special needs children can really relate. The weekend time schedule is usually more under our own control, but the actual events of the days are definitely not. But that's okay, as long as we schedule ourselves some free time somewhere else in the week. It's important.

Free time activities are really different for everyone, according to our personalities and personal tastes. Here are a few of mine:

  • Dining out with my husband
  • Talking with my sons, my sons' wives, and my grandchildren
  • Reading (especially my Bible and stories about the lives of missionaries)
  • Having a bit of quiet time, just to myself... for clear-headed thinking
  • Looking at stacks and stacks of photographs of my family
  • Planning those "never-gonna-happen" home remodeling projects : )
  • Researching fun things to do "someday"
  • Taking a walk with my youngest
  • and most importantly, spending 'time alone' with God


Hopefully, we are all able to find some free time sometime... and make the best use of it! Which, of course, sort of contradicts the whole idea of "free" time, doesn't it?

If you have some unique ideas of how to use your free time that would be beneficial to parents of children with special needs, I'd love to hear about it! Comments are welcome...and monitored by me to be sure nothing crazy gets posted here to embarrass me or anyone. So, shoot me an email or post a comment here if you have anything interesting that other parents of children with special needs should be doing for rest/relaxation/recuperation! : )


"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."
...

Thursday, August 20

Thankful Thursday

Though I'll never be able to list all the things I am or have become thankful for, I'm listing a few again today. No amount of thankfulness nor any of the items on my list would exist without the presence of our holy God. So I'm thankful, first of all, that He exists and has made Himself known to men - and particularly to this woman.

Furthermore, I am thankful for:
  • a reliable vehicle
  • the ability to taste and differentiate between flavors
  • variety as opposed to continual samenesss
  • lunch break with my hubby
  • that my toe problem of last year is now past history
  • books
  • friends
  • and family



"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good.
His love endures forever"

.
Psalm 136:1

...

Wednesday, August 19

The WORD for Wednesday



"Enough! You've corrupted justice long enough,
you've let the wicked get away with murder.
You're here to defend the defenseless,
to make sure that underdogs get a fair break;
Your job is to stand up for the powerless,
and prosecute all those who exploit them."

Tuesday, August 18

Tuesday's To Do List...

Today is a day in which I need to get lots of things done. That sometimes seems true for everyday at our house, but for some reason especially today. I'm tempted to just write about those things which could be identified as tasks related to the special needs in the family, but the truth is - I have those tasks plus all the regular or normal or "typical" things to get done as well.

Admitting that my "to do" list is considerably shorter than those parents who are also working in "paying jobs", here it is:

  • assist young adult son in getting ready for and physically getting to his day program at UCP LINCPoint - he cannot do either without me
  • order refills for the prescription drugs that give my son (and myself) a better life
  • call the case worker assigned to my adult son's services through the state's Department of Health, and Department of MHMR which assists those with developmental challenges like my son's - we need her help to resolve a problem we have encountered in "the system"
  • call and make a payment on special pharmaceutical drugs that are delivered to our home monthly
  • call a friend of mine whom I've been neglecting to call, being sidetracked with life's challenges
  • spend time cleaning at least one room of this house
  • finish folding the laundry that came out of the dryer yesterday
  • call a repairman for the electrical problem that we are having
  • call a repairman for the appliance problem that we are having
  • plot the appointment dates onto the family calendar - includes MY appointments as well as our son's appointments. I want to see where we can fit in our next trip to see our grandchildren in TX!
  • call to cancel the appointment made "automatically" by the medical center's clinic, and reiterate, once again, that we cannot attend appointments on Wednesdays
  • pick up the refills of prescription drugs and sort them into several containers that are dated and divided by time of day - so that in our haste we do not forget a dose of one of my son's required medications
  • call a brother who is having disturbing vision problems
  • pick up my young adult son and come home, an adventure of about an hour and a half
  • work a few minutes on the project of getting the filed papers in our home organized - steadily making progress!
  • do afternoon skin care routine for our young adult son, and other such required things
  • okay, and brush my teeth, take MY vitamins, EAT something, 30-walk on treadmill, and 15 minutes outside for "fresh" air
  • oh! THINK OF SOMETHING FOR SUPPER, and go ASAP to purchase the ingredients that I can't find in the pantry

That's quite a list, and it's not everything - since I won't be writing here about a lot of what we do for our son .

I cannot face days like these or any day, alone. I must go now and prepare myself for the day, by reading passages in the Bible and by talking personally with the Lord in prayer. It would be foolish to start any other way!


"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed,
do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Colossians 3:17 NIV

Sunday, August 16

Sunday Rest...

There is a place of quiet rest... near to the heart of God.



There is a place of quiet rest,
Near to the heart of God.
A place where sin cannot molest,
Near to the heart of God.

O Jesus, blest Redeemer,
Sent from the heart of God,
Hold us who wait before Thee
Near to the heart of God.

There is a place of comfort sweet,
Near to the heart of God.
A place where we our Savior meet,
Near to the heart of God.

O Jesus, blest Redeemer,
Sent from the heart of God,
Hold us who wait before Thee
Near to the heart of God.


There is a place of full release,
Near to the heart of God.
A place where all is joy and peace,
Near to the heart of God.

O Jesus, blest Redeemer,
Sent from the heart of God,
Hold us who wait before Thee
Near to the heart of God.

...