Monday Musings...

You know how sometimes you get something stuck in your mind and it keeps going round and round... like the lyrics of a song, or the tune itself, or... the last rude thing someone said to you, or vice-versa? Well, this past week I've had a thought that keeps reappearing in my mind, and have finally decided to just deal with it. Sometimes the best way to handle a nagging thought is to just deal with it.

There's a saying from some in my collection of family and friends that goes like this,
"Be where you're at".
I've also heard this thought stated another way,
"Where ever you are, be there".

This thought has been relentless, lately... popping up at various times and in various situations. I have to admit that thinking about it leads me to the desire to make everything in every moment COUNT.

To BE WITH whom I'm with... to LISTEN to the person speaking... to LOOK at who is looking at me... to ENCOURAGE the one who came to me for encouragement... to APPLAUD the one who came deserving recognition or attention... to BE INVOLVED where I am at the moment... to PARTICIPATE in my surroundings. Sounds like a given, but it can be so easy to fall into the rut of "getting things done".

I'm now inclined to reserve the actions of THINKING (as in studying), READING, RECORDING MY THOUGHTS, PLANNING, and ANALYZING things... for those times when I'm alone in the place I have designed for doing these things.

I want to invest my time in the lives of other people when the opportunities arise. Instead of being or appearing preoccupied in the presence of others, I want to BE WITH those I'm with. I want to interact with them, and to encourage them, and to invest in their lives, and to enjoy communication with them.

I want to FOCUS on making an impact, investing my time, right where I am and with whom I am... particularly, and especially, when I want to be somewhere else. Did I just admit that I don't always want to be "where I am"? I think so! And I don't think I'm alone in this either.

A friend of mine brought up the subject today in reference to the fact that, as parents of children with special needs, we have the opportunities to go places and be with people that we never would have been able to go and to be - were it not for our children and their activities relating to their special needs. She's right. We, and our children, are given the opportunities to communicate with and to relate to people whom we (or our children) would never have had the opportunity to meet, otherwise. Rather than chance meetings, interruptions, or hurdles - these opportunities are found to be "divine appointments", indications that God is able and willing to use us in the lives of others.

"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.
Always be prepared to give an answer
to everyone who asks you to give the reason
for the hope that you have.
But do this with gentleness and respect,"

1 Peter 3:15 NIV

Anyway...I think there is a lot of good counsel in the statement that popped in and out of my thoughts for days. Though it's not exactly good grammar, it's definitely a statement worth reflection.

"BE where you're at!"

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Restfulness is not laziness...

Sometimes in today's world, we walk a fine line... or think we may. We say we know of the value of a day of rest, but we fear that we are teetering towards laziness if we take more than a few hours "off". Most parents find there is no time to spare or waste, and we as parents of children and adults with special needs find it particularly true. Our experience is that the world has been rewarding hard work and focus while penalizing laziness (or sloth) for a very long time. We may fear that our restfulness is to be treated as slothfulness, and find ourselves juggling responsible work with the need of rest.

I ran across this from Dr. James D. Hegedus, and find it helps put things into perspective...

"Sloth is not restfulness…There is a difference between laziness and restfulness. In the world in which we live restfulness or what the Bible calls “sabbath” is a very healthy necessity. Sloth is not lingering long over lunch with a friend, or strolling aimlessly through the woods with the person we love, or spending a day doing nothing because the demands of your job are about to do you in, or moving through a weekend without the fret of hurry, purpose, or chore, or spending an hour watching a sunset or listening to the sounds of nature, or spending whatever time alone in silence to quiet your spirit and get back in tune with God."

So let's try to remember...

Sloth is laziness...
restfulness is not.

My prayer today is that you find time to spend in rest and silence... to quiet your spirit and get back in tune with God.

"For he that is entered into his rest,
he also hath ceased
from his own works,
as God [did] from his."

Hbr 4:10

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Friday Free Time

It's Friday. I normally schedule myself some free time on Fridays just because I'm not actually free on the weekends. All moms with children can relate, and those with special needs children can really relate. The weekend time schedule is usually more under our own control, but the actual events of the days are definitely not. But that's okay, as long as we schedule ourselves some free time somewhere else in the week. It's important.

Free time activities are really different for everyone, according to our personalities and personal tastes. Here are a few of mine:

• Dining out with my husband
• Talking with my sons, my sons' wives, and my grandchildren
• Reading (especially my Bible and stories about the lives of missionaries)
• Having a bit of quiet time, just to myself... for clear-headed thinking
• Looking at stacks and stacks of photographs of my family
• Planning those "never-gonna-happen" home remodeling projects : )
• Researching fun things to do "someday"
• Taking a walk with my youngest
• and most importantly, spending 'time alone' with God

Hopefully, we are all able to find some free time sometime... and make the best use of it! Which, of course, sort of contradicts the whole idea of "free" time, doesn't it?

If you have some unique ideas of how to use your free time that would be beneficial to parents of children with special needs, I'd love to hear about it! Comments are welcome...and monitored by me to be sure nothing crazy gets posted here to embarrass me or anyone. So, shoot me an email or post a comment here if you have anything interesting that other parents of children with special needs should be doing for rest/relaxation/recuperation! : )

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."

Jeremiah 31:25 NIV

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Friday Free Time

Free time - what’s that? Truly “free” time is something we’ve totally lost sight of, I think. Really, there seems to be little “free” time. And yet, the demands on our time ( in a family with special needs) really do seem unavoidable.

But late last year, I became aware I was repeatedly using the same comment in response to questions about whether or not I had “accomplished” certain things. I kept hearing myself say, “I don’t have enough time.” I used that phrase to reply to my husband, to my friends, and even to God while praying. It was the use of it in my prayers that created the feeling of uneasiness which later peaked when I heard an interview with Sara Groves. She is a Christian vocal artist and was discussing how her life has been changed… relating to the use of her time. She relayed this story about how she began to view the incomplete use of her life’s resources…

Sara on her Spiritual Buffalo...
“There is a scene in the movie Dances with Wolves where the Sioux are on a much anticipated buffalo hunt. As they come up over a hill, they are shocked to see a field full of buffalo carcasses. The tragedy of that moment is that where the Sioux use every piece of the buffalo—the bladder holds water, the bone makes a tool, the skin is a covering for a tent- whoever has done this has taken the best part of the buffalo for himself and has left everything else to waste. There is no way to make good use of all that is lying in this field.

I was so convicted when I went to Africa that I am not using all of my spiritual buffalo. I have developed this one side of my personal relationship with God. I go to church, I have incredible worship, and I listen to incredible speakers. I have money to buy devotionals, and leisure time to do those devotionals. I have spent a lifetime grooming a personal faith in Christ, but have I been taking the best piece of the buffalo for myself? There has been a joy in discovering the good use of my life. There is a reciprocal redemption that happens when we enter into stories of helping our neighbor—not just around the world, but in our own communities. When I came home from Africa, instead of feeling guilty for my life, I began to hear God in a very clear way say, ‘that thing carries water, that thing makes a tool, that is covering for a tent.’ There is a beauty to the good use of a life, and to the acknowledgment that everything you have and do has a Kingdom purpose."

Now, I've begun to see my own incredible waste of time, and how it was caused by my lack of focusing on priorities and not using every moment (and every gift) that I have been given. I’m not talking about the “over-scheduling” that I referred to as I began this article. I am not talking about reducing sleep and rest periods. I AM talking about “not wasting” the minutes and hours in my days… and the abilities and treasures I’ve been gifted with, the relationships and the partnerships I’ve been given an opportunity to enter into, and the knowledge I’ve been given of the Most High God.

Now, I have a goal of lessening my wastefulness… making more choices to be useful, and to be aware of the unique opportunities that I have to allow my circumstances (and my reactions to them) to bring glory to God. I don’t mean to say that I want (or could handle) a life scheduled to the maximum. Of course I couldn’t handle that! I simply want to share that I’ve been impressed that my life’s impact can be MORE than just the sum of my days.

I’ve changed my mind about wanting “free time”. I want instead to freely use and give my time and resources. I want to lessen my waste of time and other resources. I want to make a real difference by the way I use what I have been gifted with... and I pray that God will receive the glory for it.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,"

Colossians 3:23

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