Monday Musings...

You know how sometimes you get something stuck in your mind and it keeps going round and round... like the lyrics of a song, or the tune itself, or... the last rude thing someone said to you, or vice-versa? Well, this past week I've had a thought that keeps reappearing in my mind, and have finally decided to just deal with it. Sometimes the best way to handle a nagging thought is to just deal with it.

There's a saying from some in my collection of family and friends that goes like this,
"Be where you're at".
I've also heard this thought stated another way,
"Where ever you are, be there".

This thought has been relentless, lately... popping up at various times and in various situations. I have to admit that thinking about it leads me to the desire to make everything in every moment COUNT.

To BE WITH whom I'm with... to LISTEN to the person speaking... to LOOK at who is looking at me... to ENCOURAGE the one who came to me for encouragement... to APPLAUD the one who came deserving recognition or attention... to BE INVOLVED where I am at the moment... to PARTICIPATE in my surroundings. Sounds like a given, but it can be so easy to fall into the rut of "getting things done".

I'm now inclined to reserve the actions of THINKING (as in studying), READING, RECORDING MY THOUGHTS, PLANNING, and ANALYZING things... for those times when I'm alone in the place I have designed for doing these things.

I want to invest my time in the lives of other people when the opportunities arise. Instead of being or appearing preoccupied in the presence of others, I want to BE WITH those I'm with. I want to interact with them, and to encourage them, and to invest in their lives, and to enjoy communication with them.

I want to FOCUS on making an impact, investing my time, right where I am and with whom I am... particularly, and especially, when I want to be somewhere else. Did I just admit that I don't always want to be "where I am"? I think so! And I don't think I'm alone in this either.

A friend of mine brought up the subject today in reference to the fact that, as parents of children with special needs, we have the opportunities to go places and be with people that we never would have been able to go and to be - were it not for our children and their activities relating to their special needs. She's right. We, and our children, are given the opportunities to communicate with and to relate to people whom we (or our children) would never have had the opportunity to meet, otherwise. Rather than chance meetings, interruptions, or hurdles - these opportunities are found to be "divine appointments", indications that God is able and willing to use us in the lives of others.

"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.
Always be prepared to give an answer
to everyone who asks you to give the reason
for the hope that you have.
But do this with gentleness and respect,"

1 Peter 3:15 NIV

Anyway...I think there is a lot of good counsel in the statement that popped in and out of my thoughts for days. Though it's not exactly good grammar, it's definitely a statement worth reflection.

"BE where you're at!"

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Room Redo...

We did a bit of rearranging in David's room today.

There was an unintentional spilling of his CDs from the tower near his bed this week during a seizure. So, we moved that whole set-up away from his bed. The CDs were handy there, close to his tall dresser where his switch-activated stereo and switch are. But we'll get used to the new arrangement.

Since David has somewhat-limited functioning of his arms and hands, he uses a switch to turn his stereo on and off. He listens to a local Christian radio station most of the time lately, but we still keep one of his favorite CD's in the stereo in case he wants to play it instead. (Music is it's own world of communication, isn't it?)

Anyway, David doesn't really use the CD's much anymore - he's moved on to mp3's. Now he has a switch-activated mp3-player that he's trying to learn to use. It's pretty cool in that it's tiny, and he can "wear"it. It's also easy to sync with his iTunes playlist. This particular player is special as it has two switch adaptors - giving him the option of being able to toggle the mp3-player on/off, OR... to skip through the songs until he gets to the one he REALLY wants to listen to. We're still working on it, but he's getting the hang of it pretty well.

You can check out the little mp3-player at my friend RJ Cooper's website. You'll find a lot of very interesting items for those who need just a bit (or a lot) of adaptation to make the neatest little things accessible. We've been ordering from them for years. I'll be sharing more of the items (plus pictures) next week.

Back to the room redo... you know how one thing always seems to lead to another? We moved several pieces of furniture in there today. : )

"Shout for joy, O heavens;rejoice, O earth;burst into song, O mountains!
For the LORD comforts his people
and will have compassion on his afflicted ones."

Isaiah 49:13

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Communication...

More opportunities for communication! This is something we continually need for our son with special needs.

We got to go out to Texas when our grandchildren were born in October. But we hadn’t been able to visit our grandson Austin and his parents since Austin was just 3 days old - the day our granddaughter Megan was born!


Thankfully, for Christmas, our brand-new grandson got to come from Houston to visit his Granny, Granddaddy and "Uncle Dave”. We were able to get a photo during one of the moments of communication between Austin and his Uncle Dave.

A picture is worth a thousand words...

"Jesus said,
"Let the little children come to me
and do not hinder them,
for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 19:14

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Saturday Storytelling

Our trip to be with our two older sons and their wives in Texas for the birth of our grandchildren was definitely a memorable one. Besides the wonder and awe we felt as we "laid eyes on" the two precious babies, the beauty of our daughters-in-love as they cared for their infants, the melting of OUR hearts as we viewed our two sons AS FATHERS (!) holding their own sweet babies... several other things that happened during those 10 days were simply PRICELESS.

One of them was this TREASURE of a moment between Megan, our newborn granddaughter, and David, our third son. Uncle David really "took up with" the two babies, and a couple of times (other than this one caught on digital camera) during our stay there he showed a tender love and concern for his brand new nephew and niece.

This might not seem like a big deal to most families and most younger brothers, but in our family it is HUGE! You see, our David doesn't communicate as well or as easily as do the rest of us. Every opportunity that he takes advantage of (for communicating) is a prized gift to the rest of us. And his devotion to the precious new additions to the family was truly a special thing to his dear old Mom. : )

It is important for ALL of us to be aware that each person in our lives is continually making attempts to communicate with us. It's so easy to let those moments go by, letting the words fall on deaf ears, or to be brushed aside quickly in order to give our attention to something else deemed urgent at the time. We might find that communication with some people is harder than with other people, but all people communicate... and all people need to be "heard". Maybe there's someone you know who needs a little special time of communication from you... I pray that you make time for just that!

Let's not forget that all of us need a special time of communication with our heavenly Father... and that He is both speaking and listening to us. Yes, THIS is the real treasure!

"Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear."

Isaiah 65:24 ~NIV

Saturday Storytelling

Sometimes stories are the best way to express ourselves. That said, I am not always the most concise storyteller. I hope you will bear with me as I attempt to relay my thoughts in story form.

My youngest son has significant special needs. Recently I had surgery to resurface my big toe joint. Sounds complicated - really it's not so much. The thing is… I had to stay in bed with my foot elevated for TWO WEEKS following the surgery. Now THAT was interesting! My family pitched in to help, and everything went smoothly. However, I was concerned about how my youngest son was dealing with my absence from his daily care-giving routines. It seemed that he was more distant than usual from the other family members and me…. and I interpreted this as a failure on my part to "be there" for him. It made me sad.

But an interesting thing happened about 3 days after the surgery. My son, who had never really seen me just lay around in bed all day, came and stood in the doorway of my room – giving me just a few direct glances. He then took off down the hallway. I felt special because he had paid SOME attention to me, but again I began to think about how my son was dealing with things. I felt like I'd let him down. He depends on me!

Shortly after this, my son returned to my doorway and ventured inside. He danced over to the bed where I lay with the foot up on pillows, and risked a couple of brief smiles aimed at me. Then he moved to the end of the bed, where he knelt and stroked the bedspread as he continued to offer me very brief glances. Even this tiny bit of communication is highly unusual for my son, and yet this was his very best attempt to say to me… "I miss you Mom".

Just as quickly as he had stopped by, my son took off again to do the things he loves… walking briskly through the house, looking longingly outdoors, and listening to music on his favorite station. The end came as impulsively as the beginning. Someone I shared this with suggests that perhaps my son had been contemplating sharing his emotions with me when he first stopped by my room… and that possibly he'd had an inward struggle with the decision to share the emotion or not. I hadn't thought of that possibility… that of the deliberations to work through in order to arrive at a point at which he felt comfortable sharing with me in such a way.

Can you think of a time when you had to deliberate before you could allow yourself to become vulnerable with someone? I can. It happens all the time, with less dramatic consequences. All of us have a tendency to be protective of ourselves, and to not share ourselves completely with each other. In the "world" of special needs families, there is a greater tendency to react this way than in most other "worlds". Somehow we think we have more to lose by being vulnerable than do others. Not true. In reality, we have the very same potential to BE A BLESSING as do others in those other "worlds". In fact, our vulnerability with each other is one of the ways that God uses to comfort us, to inspire us, and to guide us. That's right… God uses what we view as our weaknesses (and perhaps try to conceal) to reach others who are facing the same difficult things, or similar ones.

I was deeply touched by my son's initial attempt to communicate his feelings on the day he entered my room so mysteriously. To him, it was done at great risk. Risk, unknown and indecipherable to me, but it was a risk to him just the same. Later in the week, he became even bolder and braver, and entered the room to climb into bed with me and kiss me. Then I realized anew just how very much he WAS connected to me despite the outward appearances that could be otherwise misconstrued.

How often must God feel as I did on those days… seeing us pause at the doorway of communication with Him, wishing us to fully engage in the conversation of life with Him? I wonder if His heart soars as mine did, when we venture to come to Him as we are… our special needs and all… and to tell Him we trust Him, and we need Him, and we love Him.
I wonder…

"But Jesus called the children to him and said,
"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them,
for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these".

Luke 18:16 NIV