Monday Musings...

This past week was a long week for me. My husband was out of town all week helping our oldest son with a few projects at their new house in TX. I was at home with our youngest son who has special needs. I was also NOT in TX where my two young grandchildren live. So time seemed to pass more slowly than it normally does.

Many things happened during the week to keep me extra-busy with caregiving chores for my 25-yo young-adult son... and so it was indeed a challenging week. In addition to the unexpected things that came up, some of our most-repeated challenges were especially challenging this week. But nothing happened that surprised the Lord, of course... and He had, in fact, prepared us ahead of time to be able to take care of those things that came up. God is so good!

And God is also ESPECIALLY good! He provided help for me for two days of the week, from my husband's mother. She is the family's "Energizer bunny", and a true blessing. Additionally the Lord provided an element of surprise. In more ways than one! : )

One of my nicer surprises was that I received a phone call from a friend from our church in TX. She was coming to Birmingham for a baby shower and would have time to visit with me on Saturday! Wonderful! I have missed my church friends from TX so very much since our move 3 years ago, and making contact with one of them is always a treat. And, during this challenging week, I not only got to hear from one of my friends from the past... I got to invite her into my home to sit and have a little bit of conversation with her! It was particularly encouraging to me!

God knows our needs. He doesn't need us to itemize them for Him on some sort of holy to-do list. In fact, that is FAR from what we need to do. What we need to do is to talk to Him regularly in prayer. In speaking to Him (prayer), we need to voice our awe at His unique position as God of all. As we talk with Him about our inadequacies, we need to commit to trusting Him to provide for the needs. And we need to share our thankfulness with Him. And when we've talked to Him this way, it is quite natural to share with Him the challenges that we see others around of us facing, too.

This week, amidst my own challenges, I did spend time talking with the Lord. And as a result, I think I was able to face the week without crumbling... and to lift up to Him the needs in the lives of those around me, asking Him to sustain them as well. And I know He did.

So how'd your week go? I'd love to hear about it in the
comments section... or in a private email if you wish to use that method.
Let's stay in touch, sharing this life and blessing the Lord together.

" Amen, blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might, be to our God forever and ever Amen."

...

Revelation 7:12

Saturday Storytelling

Sometimes stories are the best way to express ourselves. That said, I am not always the most concise storyteller. I hope you will bear with me as I attempt to relay my thoughts in story form.

My youngest son has significant special needs. Recently I had surgery to resurface my big toe joint. Sounds complicated - really it's not so much. The thing is… I had to stay in bed with my foot elevated for TWO WEEKS following the surgery. Now THAT was interesting! My family pitched in to help, and everything went smoothly. However, I was concerned about how my youngest son was dealing with my absence from his daily care-giving routines. It seemed that he was more distant than usual from the other family members and me…. and I interpreted this as a failure on my part to "be there" for him. It made me sad.

But an interesting thing happened about 3 days after the surgery. My son, who had never really seen me just lay around in bed all day, came and stood in the doorway of my room – giving me just a few direct glances. He then took off down the hallway. I felt special because he had paid SOME attention to me, but again I began to think about how my son was dealing with things. I felt like I'd let him down. He depends on me!

Shortly after this, my son returned to my doorway and ventured inside. He danced over to the bed where I lay with the foot up on pillows, and risked a couple of brief smiles aimed at me. Then he moved to the end of the bed, where he knelt and stroked the bedspread as he continued to offer me very brief glances. Even this tiny bit of communication is highly unusual for my son, and yet this was his very best attempt to say to me… "I miss you Mom".

Just as quickly as he had stopped by, my son took off again to do the things he loves… walking briskly through the house, looking longingly outdoors, and listening to music on his favorite station. The end came as impulsively as the beginning. Someone I shared this with suggests that perhaps my son had been contemplating sharing his emotions with me when he first stopped by my room… and that possibly he'd had an inward struggle with the decision to share the emotion or not. I hadn't thought of that possibility… that of the deliberations to work through in order to arrive at a point at which he felt comfortable sharing with me in such a way.

Can you think of a time when you had to deliberate before you could allow yourself to become vulnerable with someone? I can. It happens all the time, with less dramatic consequences. All of us have a tendency to be protective of ourselves, and to not share ourselves completely with each other. In the "world" of special needs families, there is a greater tendency to react this way than in most other "worlds". Somehow we think we have more to lose by being vulnerable than do others. Not true. In reality, we have the very same potential to BE A BLESSING as do others in those other "worlds". In fact, our vulnerability with each other is one of the ways that God uses to comfort us, to inspire us, and to guide us. That's right… God uses what we view as our weaknesses (and perhaps try to conceal) to reach others who are facing the same difficult things, or similar ones.

I was deeply touched by my son's initial attempt to communicate his feelings on the day he entered my room so mysteriously. To him, it was done at great risk. Risk, unknown and indecipherable to me, but it was a risk to him just the same. Later in the week, he became even bolder and braver, and entered the room to climb into bed with me and kiss me. Then I realized anew just how very much he WAS connected to me despite the outward appearances that could be otherwise misconstrued.

How often must God feel as I did on those days… seeing us pause at the doorway of communication with Him, wishing us to fully engage in the conversation of life with Him? I wonder if His heart soars as mine did, when we venture to come to Him as we are… our special needs and all… and to tell Him we trust Him, and we need Him, and we love Him.
I wonder…

"But Jesus called the children to him and said,
"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them,
for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these".

Luke 18:16 NIV