This weekend we are taking David to camp for a week. It's going to be a little different for us, because we've never taken our son to this particular camp. But it will be a familiar adventure for him, since he's attended camp for the past 11 years, in TX. (We lived there until the fall of 2006.)
Although I am anxious to get some time with my spouse that doesn't include all of the responsibilities of having a son with special needs... I'm feeling a bit timid about the actual process of dropping him off. After all, this camp will be a new experience for our son's parents too! (that's me and my husband, of course!) We don't know the ropes, and we don't know the personnel, and we don't even know for sure the steps through the process.
So many things are like this for those of us who are parents of children who have special needs. Though a thing (camp, in this case) SOUNDS familiar or similar to something other parents have gone through... it might not actually be all that similar. For instance, maybe we will have medications to take with us and to explain to the camp staff, or maybe it will be the behavior of our child with special needs that needs our explanations.
But the other parents who drop off kids at camp, they probably have similar things to explain... and probably even similar feelings. They may feel that they have the SAME feelings about letting their child attend camp. Maybe it's a time of rejoicing that they'll have some peace and quiet; maybe it is that they'll get to do something that they can't do easily with their children along; or maybe it's that they are happy to be able to provide an adventure for their kids that the kids would otherwise not have. This is all similar to what parents of children with special needs feel... and yet it doesn't end there. But wait... oh, wait a minute!
Is it possible that parents of children with special needs don't understand what parents with what is referred to as "typical" children go through either? Isn't it really possible that, from either side of the coin, we do not have a clear view of the OTHER side? Isn't it possible that things, which each set of parents take for granted or worry about, are just as hard to conceive of whether you have a typical child or one who has special needs?
I'm not trying to say that one of these kinds of parenthood is easier or more difficult. ALL parenting is difficult. I'm trying to address an issue about whether or not BOTH kinds of parents are receiving the kind of encouragement and assistance that they need in order to be successful. Isn't it possible that by separating ourselves into different "camps" that we are indeed making it more difficult? Could it be that we might actually learn something from each other... across these boundaries that we have imagined between our groups?
I have friends who feel comfortable stating that they are in one or the other group of parents. I also have friends who are parents that have both kinds of children - those with special needs and those who are labelled "typical". What I see with these parents is that they know this: Parenting is one area of life where even the kinds of needs our children have doesn't change one important guideline for supporting others (our children, friends, or anyone!)... that of being considerate and understanding. We can be of such great encouragement to each other if we only could resist separating ourselves into different "camps"!
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. "
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A special THANKS to all my friends out there...
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! : )
And for the record,
I'll be REJOICING this week - all week long,
and even into next week!
with much JOY,
CAROL
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