Last week and over the weekend, my son with special needs had been too dizzy to stand alone or to walk straight - even with my help. If he were still a 2-year-old or 5-year-old... it would have presented me with different challenges. But my son is a young adult and, at 3 inches taller than I am, presented me with some maneuverability issues.
I've dealt with his strong seizures and with his weaknesses, but this lack of self-balancing reaction was brand new to both of us. I had to learn quickly and also to act forcefully, which isn't my typical "MO". I'm sure that at times my son was probably confused about why this quiet and gentle mother of his had suddenly become so forceful and insistent that he do things HER way. It was not what he wanted, and not what he had come to expect of me... and definitely NOT fun for him.
My son was in trouble. It was dangerous for him to carry on in "business as usual" mode. Left alone he would fall, bump into walls, miss the chair at the breakfast table, and crash into furniture pieces. I know this because he is harder to manage than he appears to be... and these things happened in the last few days.
Actually my son David normally needs my help, but more from a distance... giving verbal and gentle physical inputs to help him carry on his regular day. Only occasionally do I have to swoop in and "rescue him" from some danger or disaster he is about to cause. These last few days were NOT some of his regular days! I was compelled to come to his rescue often, and even forcefully (when, and in ways, he would not choose). I did it because I love him, and accept my role as his caregiver.
So, the LORD has been speaking to me in the silence these last few days - about HIS love for ME. And even more... about His rescuing me, even when I don't feel I need rescuing... and even forcefully rescuing me, when I am totally unaware of the dangers surrounding me. The LORD used this experience with my son David's vertigo to show me that, although I readily agree and submit as DEPENDENT upon Him(the LORD), the truth of the matter is... I have absolutely NO IDEA just how dependent I really, seriously am. And I have no clear understanding, either, of the magnitude of His love or of the joy He feels for my "recoveries".
My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
"I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is your keeper;
the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all evil;
He will keep your life.
The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in
from this time forth, and forevermore."
...
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment